Spoof Writing... :D

How good is Indian Govt in crisis management?

The Govt of India and crisis management? Are you reminding me of ‘opposites’ I used to learn in my Fourth Grade English class?? Confusion, chaos, Indian Govt – they are synonyms for you! Look from any angle, and you will fail to connect these with crisis management!





Oh! I am sorry. A branch of management that our politicians know for sure – ‘Birthday Party Management’. Just about a few lakhs are spent on celebrating the (happy!) Birthday of a minister who gives a toothless grin and says he is so touched by the love and care people shower on him!! Doesn’t the oldy get a hint that these are nothing but ‘Maska-Chaska’. The sidekicks waiting to step into the current birthday ‘baby’s’ chores someday are the proud and efficient ‘Event Managers’ here!


Any real crisis to be discussed – say shortage of water, starvation, illiteracy – and you can sit back on your couch with pop corn and watch an Indian remake of ‘Star Wars’ but due to inadequate technological support (and for mere convenience!!) flying saucers are replaced by mikes, books, desks or anything at all that comes to their reach. (Statutory Warning : Make sure you are safe at home and not at the location!!) and the set of course is the one and only Parliament House!!


My my… look at them enjoying… and you talk about crisis management? With such entertainers…crisis situations won’t ever seem like it, they will in fact be the start of a new flick comedy or thriller – may be Gladiator next time??! Wait n watch…

Oh! The Trip!!

“You have WON!!!!” yelled my cousin. She was talking about the contest I had entered two months ago. The prize offered was two tickets to Paris. All we had to do was write out a funny slogan and the best entry wins. I had fancied my chances of winning, since, as everyone does, I had judged my slogan to be unique and eligible. But when I actually heard the news I first couldn’t believe it. The actual thought of winning didn’t occur to me, and I had just fancied going to Paris quite a few times.

I would check my horoscope everyday to see if there were any predictions regarding foreign travel mentioned. I would collect every little information about the tourist spots in Paris. I would even secretly observe everyone around, to see if anyone looked at e with envy. But nothing did happen for a long time and finally when it did, it happened in a big way!!

Everyone of my cousins was eager and anxious to know which one of them I would take with me to Paris. They did all they could to please me in every way and I enjoyed every bit of it. I actually wanted to take all of them, but that wasn’t quite possible as the tickets were only two. Anyway, there is still time, I thought. There were two months or so before I had to fly.

I got special treatment even at school. My friends fought to sit next to me, share their lunch or even to lend their books. I enjoyed it all. It wasn’t my fault they didn’t win, and I don’t get this treatment everyday!! So I made the most of it!

My little sister too would go out of the way to make me hapy. Once she even bought me an ice-cream, which for her was quite expensive. In fact I did consider taking her along with me. But that wouldn’t be fun, as I would have to be responsible for her and act as ‘Big Sister’. Nah. That wasn’t my idea of having fun. Okay maybe I could get her something really nice from Paris.

My parents, were just happy for me, they didn’t want to go with me, as they knew I would prefer taking a friend or cousin along on such trips. They just kept saying, I must take someone responsible with me.

“Wow!” I thought my first trip abroad. I sighed and visualized and. . . .


T R R R R R . . . . . . . I N G!!. . . . . . THUD!!


Ouch!! What was that??!!
It was 6:30am, and end of another dream!
Ouch my back! Ouch my trip to Paris!!

Exam Fever!

WHACK! Got him. I had finally managed to eliminate the mosquito, which I was aiming at for the past few minutes. It was 10:52 pm. Sunday. I was at my desk with my books open in front of me. I suppose, I was studying.

Yes! I was doing maths, not one of my best subjects. I had my exams – BOARD exams, in two days. BOARD EXAM. Those words used to scare me until a few days back and now,… I was actually going to experience it.

I wished that I could fast forward my life, by a month, when I would be free of exams and could have fun. But that was fantasy. Coming back to reality, I had my MATHS BOARD EXAM the day after tomorrow.

The atmosphere was so silent. I could picturize people in my neighbourhood cozily cuddled in their beds, asleep. “Then why do I have to study?”, I wanted to ask. But to whom? Everyone went through this phase in life once too, so I am no exception.

MATHS. MATHS. MATHS. The open books kept saying, or so it seemed. My mind kept wandering and now I decided I had to solve some problems.

I kept hearing, “And the Oscar goes to …” quite a few times, which crept through the closed doors to my room. I tried so hard not to think of the Oscar Awards Ceremony that was going on, on television. Not fair that my little sister gets to watch it when I cant. She was the only one, beside me, awake at that hour. Studying in class 7, she was enjoying life, while I sat and slogged with Maths. Trigonometry at the moment.

After sometime, I decided to get serious and care les about the happenings of the surrounding. Just as I pondered over a mystifying problem, my sister barged inside and started chanting, “My Hero got an Oscar, my Hero got an Oscar.” Huh! Do I care? I would have if she had solved my problem for me. Thanks to her, I got distracted again. This time, I gave up and decided I would continue on the morrow. It was 11:45pm. Almost an hour and I had managed to do only 6 problems.

Well, that was how my life was when I was in class X. I still remember that day – 3rd of June, when our results were put up on the net. I sat up till midnight to check my results. I couldn’t believe my marks and rechecked to see if it really were mine! I had managed a 81% in Maths... after all that!! I was thrilled and overjoyed. I made the most of it in my class XI. I watched as many shows as I wanted to compensate.

But in spite of all this, there is still a fear of BOARD EXAMS inside me. There ought to be, this year, I face it all over again. This time, it will be more scary.