Thursday, 20 October 2011

365 days of ‘We’!


Very often I catch myself pondering over and musing about my beautiful life, smiling fondly about the treasured memories I would love to relive and grimacing upon the not-so-pleasant events which I wish I could mend. And, today as I sit myself down and let lose my heart and mind to rewind to do what they best love doing, a major milestone (…which I prefer terming as ‘smilestone’ :) …) in my life pops up and comes to the fore. Day-365 of our adven-joyous journey together as man and wife, is just round the corner! Oh my, even as I type this, my heart blossoms with joy and am overwhelmed with loads of memories flooding in and warmth oozing from deep inside! Yes, it truly is an ecstatic feeling of celebrating a year of togetherness with my very own special someone!


Over this one year, I have come to realize, that there is definitely more to this nuptial knot than merely that of a being pronounced husband and wife. A companion for life, no matter what; a shoulder to lean on, when all else let go; a hand to grasp, when I need the reassurance that am not alone; a buddy to share my every smile; a best friend to wipe away my soulful tears; a pal I can fight with and then forgive in no time; a confidant to bury all my secrets; a sweetheart to be pampered; a tutor, who teaches me things I never knew even existed; a fellow dreamer, with whom I dream up and bring to life our future together; a very special person to care for, shower all my love on and feel really lucky to be able to spend each day of my life with… All rolled up into one is to me, my life partner!

"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage." Author ~ Martin Luther

It really amazes me how someone, whose existence I was oblivious to until just over a year back, could all of a sudden mean the whole world to me since the moment he came into my life magically, sweeping me right off my feet. And it amazes me further of how the two of us magnetically connected to each other as if to illustrate the clich├ęd saying ‘Made for each other!’ On a practical note, I love to relate ourselves to this cute quote I picked up from our favorite sitcom a few weeks back "We are not too good to be true, we are good enough!"

The courtship days were like living through a dream. And ever since I set my foot onto the threshold of marital land, life has only been lovelier (…my life has always been lovely; this just takes it to the next level!). Yes, I have been told several times that it is but natural for any relationship to seem all glossy and rosey in its infancy stage and some even say the shine may wither of with time and monotony. Blaming fading colors in relationships on destiny is but an easy escape route for many. However, I have always been a believer that the paintbrush is in our hands and the choice of the colors we want to fill in the canvas of life, is entirely ours. As an enthusiastic amateur artist, I learn of new colors almost every day and willingly blend them into my canvas. With each passing day the glitter in it, only increases making me look forward to the days to come, with the same excitement as I have today.







Splashes of some new-found colors I have added to my palette:

Live, love, share… life!
Life is the best gift you can ever get, live it up royally. Now that you have someone to share it with, love it even more. Create moments to last for a lifetime. Dream big, go out there and make it reality. Laugh much. Love lots. Be there for each other. And remember, when shared, happiness doubles, sadness halves and memories multiply!

You, me and we!
Being a couple means you are not single anymore! Very obvious, isn’t it?! Yes, obvious in the terms of living together and going by daily routine as a couple. But, making conscious efforts in taking time out of everyday madness for those special moments, I would like to call ‘we-time’ is essential. Learning to like what each other likes, appreciating differences in choices and opinions, venturing out to try new things are the essence of the ‘we-time’ moments.

At the same time, amidst the warmth of togetherness, giving each other some ‘alone-time’ and private space is much needed to balance and refuel the ‘we-times’.

Let go of me, Ego!
Well, not always are things going to be in perfect harmony. Clash in interest, thoughts and attitudes may be causes for some petty bitterness at times. On such occasions, all that is required is to swallow your pride and apologize for the uneasiness caused between the two of you, whoever may be the cause of it all, and just moving on. But by letting your ego rule you, simple misunderstandings get blown out of proportions causing damages, you would regret later.

Next time ego strikes, take a moment to think of how precious this person means to you, and if you want to let an invisible futile ruler ruin this sweet relationship, even a little bit. The answer unveils itself. Tell yourself ‘let go off me, ego’ and patch things up with your loved one!

"Apologizing doesn't always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego" Author ~ Unknown

Change the want to change!
It is human instinct to want to change something to their liking. And sometime so, without giving a try at understanding why things are the way they are. The same is the case when it comes to their relationships also. People are always ready to jump in and give their advice (even if unasked for..!) in order to ‘change’ somebody. But the reverse is not always welcome, they feel interfered with. ‘I am the way I am, I cannot change!’ So, how does this biased approach help? It doesn’t! Hence, instead of wanting to change an aspect of your loved one, try to understand things from their point of view. It takes patience, maturity and understanding, but eventually you will learn to accept, respect and like the way things are!

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly" Author ~ Jason Jordan

Talk, talk and talk some more
Talking in person is by far the most effective means of communication. Keeping that channel of communication clear and open is vital to keep a relationship healthy and strong. A lingering thought worrying you? Talk it out, share it. A painful moment, you cannot handle? Confide, cry it out. A misunderstanding hurting you? Ask it aloud, clarify it. Just as with cheerful chats, even for those more difficult ones to clear out difference in opinions, a simple open conversation can do unbelievable wonders. Choked emotions are like volcanoes waiting to erupt. Calm yourself, gather your thoughts and sit down for a simple heart-to-heart talk.

The pure feeling of absolute openness between beloveds, is something to be experienced, cannot be explained.

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." Author ~ Barnett R. Brickner




Feel it. Express it. Mean it!
How often do you let your loved one know, he/she is truly loved?! When was the last time you did so? You may point out, ‘Oh come on, what is the formality, she/he knows I love her, there is no need to say in words!’ Well, there is. Dear ones aren't to be taken for granted. 'Expressing' does not always need to be in words. Speaking your heart out (…even the very obvious), simple acts of love, warm words of gratitude, heartfelt appreciation is all it takes!

Don’t shy away from expressing yourself. Let it come from the very bottom of your heart! When you truly feel lucky to have somebody in your life, just let them know and make their day!


"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Author ~ Mignon McLaughlin