It has been just over a month... since the most advenjoyous roller coaster ride of my life began... since my daily routine no longer has a predefined structure... since my everyday revolves around a tiny little being. A tiny little being, that I birthed.
Exactly 40 days back, we welcomed our little son into our lives and hearts. It was a moment when anxiety, pain, ecstasy, bewilderment, love, contentment, exhaustion and relief bundled up into an emotion ensemble was felt all at once!
I have heard a countless number of times from others, of how a baby changes ones life and how priorities, routines and lifestyle completely revolves around the new member upon its arrival. Being well informed, I felt prepared enough to face it all. But when reality struck, I figured that nothing really prepares a person for the experience that comes with this life changing event. One just learns by actually living through it. I am doing just that, everyday since.
It is overwhelming how all of a sudden I am completely responsible for the well being of another human being. Absolutely every single aspect. That incredibly cute little person comes with very high maintenance. It amazes me how a little baby only a few days old into this world communicates its needs through nothing but wails. Well mostly. Then there are these adorable body language signals they give out to indicate hunger, sleep, discomfort and even boredom! Interpreting and understanding them is an art, I am yet to master.
And the life changes? Oh, its funny how life changes.
My computer table has been converted into a fully equipped diaper changing table! It is where our little Gladly Pooper ( a nickname I gave him for the number of times he poops! Hope you don't mind it Mr.Bradley Cooper :P) loves to hang out!
Waking up every couple of hours at nights to nurse and change him is becoming habitual to the otherwise sleep-loving me! Making the most of these midnight wake hours, catching up with fellow new-mum friends at 2:30 am to check on each other has become a new norm. What used to be carefree chats about movies, music, clothes, gossip earlier have now been replaced by discussions about our bubs, with jargon like 'diaper-rashes', 'feed-schedule', 'nap-times', 'colic', 'cluster-feeding' popping up in our talks.
Waking up every couple of hours at nights to nurse and change him is becoming habitual to the otherwise sleep-loving me! Making the most of these midnight wake hours, catching up with fellow new-mum friends at 2:30 am to check on each other has become a new norm. What used to be carefree chats about movies, music, clothes, gossip earlier have now been replaced by discussions about our bubs, with jargon like 'diaper-rashes', 'feed-schedule', 'nap-times', 'colic', 'cluster-feeding' popping up in our talks.
Clipping those tender baby nails while the baby is asleep; successfully tip-toeing out of the bedroom after tucking the baby in bed; completing a chore with one hand while carrying the baby with the other and hurriedly finishing up a meal before the baby wakes up... give a new high these days!
Oh, there are times when I feel overcome with frustration. Rocking the little one in my aching arms for hours only for him to wake up in a second when laid down to sleep; being jolted awake by shrill baby wails amidst a small sleep window, nursing the hungry little baby through the dark of the night struggling to keep open those drowsy eyes; puzzling over why a well-fed, well-rested baby bawls so loudly and trying ways to soothe my Baby Gaah-Gaah. These are moments when I wish my baby came with a manual!
Erratic sleep schedules, unfinished hobby activities, limited social life and sheer exhaustion take its toll on me at times. There are times when I wonder when my routine will get back to normal and then I realise and tell myself, "Oh hello mom, this is the new normal!"
People tell me these initial few days are tough and as he grows up things will be easier. But I do not wish to fast forward my days with him. I cherish every second I spend with my baby boy, through the good and the not-so-good days. Its not forever when he will fit so snugly in my arms. Its not forever when he likes to cuddle up and nap on me. Its not forever that his fingers and toes remain soft and pink. Its not forever that he is going to be solely dependent on his mother for his needs.
As a new born baby he is trying to figure out the ways of the world, which I brought him into. As a new mommy, I am learning to be patient and cope with baby care. Everyday we learn something new. With each passing day things get better. We are in this together and that gives me the biggest strength to keep smiling during the tough hours.
Every time I look down at his perfect little cherubic face, my heart swells with pride and joy. What a beautiful creation he is! This tiny miracle is mine. I treasure him with every bit of my heart and then some more.
When I count my blessings, he tops the list.
