I know one day,
I will look back in awe.
Of how we survived this all!
But right now it feels like,
Am walking a tight rope,
Struggling to balance,
Atop buildings so tall.
Just when the storm seemed to settle a bit,
Gushes in another high tide.
These aren't the kind of waves,
I know how to ride.
Stuck in an endless loop of chores,
Daunting piles of laundry,
Sink full of dishes,
And tummies that are hungry.
Juggling work amidst tantrums,
Being needed all day long.
Battling anxiety within,
Trying hard to stay strong.
The frequent, snarky retorts,
And the guilt trips that follow,
Which only doubles,
When in self pity at times I wallow.
Yes, am blessed and grateful.
I remind myself everyday.
But sometimes, just sometimes,
I need to just let me be,
And allow myself to sulk my blues away.
Tomorrow, I promise,
To put my optimist coat on.
But today, I am OK being not OK.
It's exhausting, it's tough,
I am just tired and forlorn.
- Nandita
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